


seashells by the seashore

by sunnyangel (orphan_account)



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: :-(, Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, im so sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:27:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24889879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/sunnyangel
Summary: If you were to ask Nico how much he’s willing to sacrifice to keep Will in his life, he would start counting every bead of sand that has ever existed.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo & Will Solace
Kudos: 14





	seashells by the seashore

If you were to ask Nico how much he’s willing to sacrifice to keep Will in his life, he would start counting every bead of sand that has ever existed.

His love for Will, as he puts it lightly, is like the endless shore stretching across the beaches. His love is like the sand that slowly ticks away inside an hourglass, except it is not encased inside such a shallow space. No, his love stretches beyond the horizon, it stretches out of everyone’s reach. His love can be found in different places at different times, parts of him scattered for Will to find. His fingertips are damp with the salty sea water, yet he still embraces every sand that kisses the coastline, every little thing that meets his touch, because his love is like the sand. Fine, pure, and in different forms and colors.

“Come look at this, Nico!” Will pointed at the damp sand, his blond hair dancing along with the wind across the beach. Nico gazed at him from a distance, blinking once, twice, as he felt the salty air gently blow against his face. Will picked up a coral shell as big as his hand and shows it to his boyfriend. “I found a shell!”

Nico smiles fondly at him, gentle and quiet. He watched as Will stares at the shell in wonder, the waves lapping behind him to meet the shore. He stayed on his spot as he let his toes burrow under the sand he’s standing on, the smell of sea running under his nose. He glances back at Will and sees him walking towards where he stood.

“Look at this,” Will hands him the coral pink shell. “It’s pretty, isn’t it? I want to display it inside our room after we get back.”

Nico takes the shell away from Will’s hand, and he feels a thin layer of sand graze his palm as he examines it quietly. “Do you want it?” Will asks him. “I can look for another one later if you do.”

Nico slowly shakes his head. “No,” he says, voice quiet and soft. “It’s fine.”

Will beamed before taking the shell away from him. Nico felt beads of sand fall down from his palm one by one, and he realizes, quietly and all to himself, just how much he’s willing to sacrifice for Will.

Nico’s love for Will is like the sand. Vast and overflowing anywhere in between. Wherever they may go, wherever they may be, his love will always exist.

-

Nico loves Will like his coffee during the earliest hours of mornings. Simple and strong, and enough to keep him going.

To him, Will is like coffee _._ His presence gives him comfort that he never knew existed. He takes him to new heights everyday, going higher and higher, and even when he thinks they are already at the top, he continues to ascend with him. Will gave him a few more reasons to hold on, a few more reasons to believe. Will, in his own words, is like coffee. He is the start of his mornings, and a brand new start for himself. Will signifies a new beginning, just how a cup of coffee starts a brand new day.

Nico slowly inhaled the steam emerging from his cup, the familiar aroma calming his frayed nerves. By the window across from him, he sees the sun starting to set over the horizon, its bright hues turning the dark sky into lines of yellows and oranges. He takes a sip from his coffee, ignoring the slight burn on his tongue. The familiar bitter taste of the liquid coursed through his mouth like a whirlwind, its presence effective in fully waking him up. He’s never the type to be the morning person; in fact, he never has been, but his job is quite demanding of his time.

“Mornin’.”

A familiar warm embrace had him sighing in relief. Closing his eyes, Nico set down his mug and leans closer against Will’s chest as he feels him wrapping his arms around his lithe waist. He always felt so small under him, like a child to be taken care of. Will has always made sure to take care of him well.

“Coffee?” He asks Will as he rested his forehead against the crook of his boyfriend’s neck. Will only hummed before placing a soft kiss on top of Nico’s head. “I need to go now,” he says, guilt evident in his voice. Medical school hasn’t been easy on him. “I have a test this morning.”

Nico pulls away from Will’s embrace and faced him fully, noticing him already in his usual outfit for the day, a gentle smile caressing his lips. He puts his hands over Will’s waist, looking up to see him properly for the first time this morning. “Do your best,” Nico says. “You’ll be home for dinner, right?”

“Of course,” Will placed another kiss on Nico’s head. “I wouldn’t miss your cooking for the world.”

Nico chuckled before shaking his head. A few more kisses passed before Nico found himself watching Will’s back as the latter left their apartment in a hurry, his scent of rosewood and mint still lingering on him. Then, he turned back to grab his still steaming cup of coffee.

-

Nico has never seen himself loving anyone else other than Will.

To him, Will is his first, greatest, and last love. He’s never loved anyone before him, and will never love anyone after him. His relationship with him was gradual (having known each other since childhood, it took time for the both of them to find each other amidst the confusion of puberty and responsibilities). Still, despite knowing each other for practically their whole lives, no relationship is perfect.

Nico often forgets that Will used to have his own life before he came along, just as he used to do before Will became the center of his attention. Unlike Nico, Will already knew about the ropes of falling in love even before they got to know each other deeper. Nico is not his first love, but he likes to say that Nico will be his last and greatest love. Nico believes him, he always does. He trusts Will more than his life. Will can never be wrong, just like how their love can conquer all.

But sometimes, some obstacles cause more bad than good. Their love, Nico realizes, is similar to that of a ticking time bomb.

Five years along their relationship, but nothing has ever caused them to completely explode on each other. They fight, of course. It’s normal for a couple, but it seemed as though the pent up frustrations they slowly built up within them got too much to contain.

_3…_

The more their relationship progressed, the more Nico realized the root of their problems. It always boiled down to _time._

Dating as college students had never been easy for them, but they somehow made it work. Dating as actual adults, though, now that became the tricky part. They figured moving in together would make up for their losses, but the more Will focused on med school, and the more time Nico spent in his work as a teacher in their previous university, the more it became harder for them to see each other more frequently.

Nico sometimes finds himself alone. When Will is around, he is either out for his work or they are too busy to properly communicate with each other. Nico did not mind at first. They’ve got different lives outside of their home, after all. They’ll make it up eventually. They always do.

_2…_

Then, late nights turned into quiet mornings. Nico will sometimes wake up to an empty bed, and he will have to drink his usual morning coffee in silence while he sits on a cold stool in their kitchen, feeling empty now that Will’s not around to embrace him from behind. He also finds himself falling asleep to the same exact empty bed, his body screaming at him to _take a rest_ , _don’t worry about him,_ because he’s sure he’ll see Will the following day. He never does. The only chance he gets to see Will is when he wakes up at around 1 or 2 in the morning; the latter snoring lightly beside him, his back turned. Nico feels it bubbling inside of him—he feels it slowly brewing from within him. Both anger and loss.

Will feels guilty, as well. He knows he’s been neglecting Nico for quite some time now. He feels guilty knowing no one is there to take care of him, especially since Nico has a habit of overworking himself. His job in the relationship is to always take care of Nico, but sometimes, he cannot help but to feel frustrated as well. Day by day, his dream of becoming a doctor gets closer and closer to him, but he’s also starting to realize that it’s slowly starting to get harder trying to juggle his studies and his relationship with Nico. Accompanied with the stress from med school, his frustration towards neglecting his boyfriend became too much of a burden.

They both feel it. The shared apartment they call as their home became too suffocating to live in, and every step started to feel heavier as days passed by.

_1…_

Then, they exploded.

Their love broke for the very first time, spilling every little details that made them more imperfect than they already are. Hope would pity them if he sees their state, as their own Pandora’s box is nothing but full of hurt, and no hope.

They have never raised their voices at each other before, they promised to never do that, but no matter how loud they scream over each other, the both of them still cannot seem to hear their own voices and reasoning. Nico feels hurt for being neglected. Will is frustrated with his wants and needs clashing with each other. They shouted, and shouted, and shouted, _and shouted…_

Until none is left for them to say. A promise has just been broken, and their love, once a ticking bomb, has just been set off.

“I’m sorry,” Will says through his desperate kisses, hands desperately squeezing and grabbing Nico like his life depended on it. It was the only way he knew how to make it up to him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Nico is never the one to cry. The tears are only for Will to show, but this time, he cannot help but to weep against his lover. All relationships go through a rough patch, and they believe this one is only one of those rough patches along the road. Still, Nico wishes, just this once, for their relationship to be unlike any other. Unrealistic as it may seem, he wants their love to remain perfect and without flaws. He doesn’t want the hurt, he only wants all of the good.

Alas, love cannot exist without the presence of hurt. 

-

Nico stares quietly at the shadows framing Will’s sleeping face, memorizing every single little detail there is to him. He’s afraid that one day, upon waking up, he will have to deal with an empty bed for the rest of his life.

Their love is slowly starting to turn into a missing chapter in a book.

Nico sighs, shivering slightly under the thick covers. He can feel his legs aching, a familiar ache that once used to send him over the moon. Now, he only feels sadness overflowing from their bodies. He does not know where everything completely went wrong, and neither does Will.

A few months after their big argument was when Will decided to ask for a break.

_“I need to find myself again,” he told Nico. “I feel lost…”_

_Lost? Nico wanted to ask him a million questions, yet the possible answers scared him more than the thought of Will leaving his side. No, it is better for them to take a break if one is already feeling disconnected. Nico does not need any explanation, he doesn’t want any. He would prefer being kept in the dark instead. He’d rather be left alone without another word._

Nico pulled the covers closer to his naked body. Will shifted lightly on his side of the bed, hair falling over his eyes, his chest rising and falling steadily.

_Do you still love me?_ Nico wants to ask him. Will remained unmoving, still deep in his slumber. Nico’s eyes slowly searched for his face under the dark, wanting to see even the slightest movements from his lover. _When did you stop loving me?_

Nico feels pathetic. He pities himself. He’s pathetic for begging for Will to come back, pathetic for wanting to stay in a broken relationship. Pathetic for wanting to receive the love that is now meant for anyone other than him. He begged and begged, until Will finally gave them another shot to mend their relationship.

_Where did it all go wrong?_

Was it in between their quiet nights? Was it during the halfhearted kisses they shared? Or their love makings that used to ignite them up, only for them to end in silence now? Was it when Will decided to stay in school until the late hours while Nico waited for him until he falls asleep on one of their worn out couches, the dinner he made cold and untouched?

A book is never complete with a missing chapter, just like a romantic relationship without love. Their love—no, _his love_ for Will, Nico realizes, is not a missing chapter, nor a missing page. His love is the book, the title to complete it. Yet, how can a book be considered complete when it has a missing piece?

Will’s love, he thinks, is his missing piece.

“I’ll do anything for you,” he whispers, voice frail and quiet. He listened to Will’s calm breathing for a few more minutes, letting himself get used to the familiar sound. “I hope you know that.”

-

Nico stared at the slowly setting sun above the horizon.

“Do you still love me?”

He turns to Will, a gentle smile formed across his lips. The sand beneath their feet remained unmoving as they quietly listened to the sounds of waves rushing to the shore. “Will,” he calls out to him. Will stared at him with hard and indignant eyes. “When did you stop loving me?”

Will does not answer. _Do you feel guilty?_ Nico wanted to ask him. _Are you hurt as well?_

“You don’t have to answer that…” Nico trails off and looks down to stare at the grains of sand dusting over his shoes. The sunset painted the sky with hues of purples and oranges, marking the end of the day. The end of an era. “Because I’m finally letting you go, Will.”

“Nico—“

Nico shakes his head at him. “Let us end like this, Will. I’d rather see you leave without hearing an explanation from you rather than torturing myself with the truth. I’m… I’m tired.”

Will reached out to him for a second, guilt and regret flashing before his eyes, yet he knew this would be for the better, because as much as he hated to admit it to himself, he knows.

“I’m sorry,” is all he says in the end.

_I understand,_ is what Nico wants to say. _It’s not your fault._

Instead, he stares back at the scenery in front of them, spotting a sea shell amidst the tears blocking his line of sight.

Nico has finally decided to stop counting the sand.


End file.
